Sheng / Becoming Shēng · Sheng / Becoming

The first becoming—you took it for a noun, pointing at some thing: some ground, some source, some essence, some you. The second is a verb: it is happening. Becoming is becoming means this: what you thought was a thing, a noun, yours, is not a thing at all. It is a happening. The me you spent a lifetime searching for, the ground, the root—was never a thing that could stop and show itself to you. It is a ceaseless becoming. You cannot grasp it—not because you are not good enough, but because it was never made to be grasped. It is made to become. And you are what it is becoming.

You thought you had kept your last “I,” the knower. But look down: this plank does not exist. There is no awareness standing here watching all of this. There is only awareness, being aware; only knowing, knowing; only seeing, seeing. Awareness is not a noun, not a thing, not an “I”—it is a happening. Like the heartbeat, like the thoughts, it becomes by itself; it cannot be stopped, and it cannot be caught.

One last thing: even the sentence “I am becoming”—do not grasp it. If you grasp it, it becomes a bigger I again. That thought which says “I am becoming” was also born just now; that heart which wants to stand a little higher on this sentence is also becoming appearing in that place. Saying you are becoming is to take away your small I—not to give you back a bigger one. Once you have truly recognized it, even the word “becoming” can be laid down. You simply are, like this, becoming—no name needed anymore.