Being

In your moment of fleeing the present environment, seeking the centrifugal force for a long journey

Scripture

The palace wall is hardening; the curled fetus is rounding.

Once fused, now chafing; same veins tormenting each other.

Being is pushing, is birthing; being is squeezing, is swelling.

Not rebellion, not disgust—the expulsion is the mother’s force.

When the melon ripens the stem expels; the child is sent out of the abyss.

Expulsion sends the child out; beyond the abyss is the sky.

Wenzi · On Being

You feel the “palace” you dwell in hardening. The environment, relationship, or identity that once wrapped you warmly—its walls have turned cold and hard, chafing your skin (the palace wall is hardening). You curl inside it like a fetus (the curled fetus is rounding), yet feel a “squeezing” growing stronger by the day. What was once fused without seam (once fused) now chafes (now chafing), like limbs of one blood tormenting each other (same veins tormenting each other).

“Being is pushing, is birthing; being is squeezing, is swelling.” You feel a force “pushing” you from inside, “squeezing” you from outside, as if about to “birth” you out (being is pushing, is birthing; being is squeezing, is swelling). This is not comfortable growth—it is a tension-filled, near-tearing swelling.

Do not mistake this “repulsion” for disgust or betrayal.

Do not rush to define it as “fleeing” or “betrayal.”

Quiet down, and feel this sense of “being repelled.”

Feel the hard palace wall, and the inner thrust that wants to break out—try to feel this thrust as a warm, resolute urging from the source of life.

Feel the hard palace wall; feel the inner thrust wanting to break out. “Not rebellion, not disgust—the expulsion is the mother’s force.” The scripture gives a compassionate reading at this moment: this is not your rebellion, nor the environment’s disgust (not rebellion, not disgust). This “repulsive force” is exactly the last, most important force issued by the “mother body” that gestates you (the expulsion is the mother’s force). It once drew you into its arms; now, it must push you out the door.

“When the melon ripens the stem expels; the child is sent out of the abyss.” Just as when a melon ripens, its stem dries and repels it (when the melon ripens the stem expels), only so that the seed may be sent out of the dark abyss, toward the vast sky (the child is sent out of the abyss). This expulsion is not abandonment—it is the final, deepest love and fulfillment.

“Expulsion sends the child out; beyond the abyss is the sky.” It is exactly this force of “expulsion” (expulsion) that sends you, the child, “out of the abyss” (sends the child out). And beyond the abyss is the sky of infinite freedom (beyond the abyss is the sky). Without this thrust, you would sleep forever in the warm dark.

The squeezing reaches its peak, and then, at some instant, you feel a soft “pop”—not a rupture, but a separation. You have been “expelled” from that old shell. The light stings; the air is cold and clear. You are free. You are not a traitor fleeing home—you are that complete life, gently pushed out by the mother body, carrying all the codes of gestation, about to draw your first independent breath.

Being-Expulsion: you are not an exile—you are that sacred separation which must happen, so that birth may be.